Do You Fear Being Single? Seeking Completeness in a Relationship 

In a world that often romanticizes finding a soulmate to complete us, it's essential to examine our motivations and expectations in relationships. While a loving partner can bring joy and fulfillment, a healthy relationship should not be about filling a void within ourselves. In this blog post, we will explore why we seek completeness in a relationship, uncover the potential pitfalls it creates, and gain clarity on becoming complete before entering a relationship. 

Why Do We Seek Completeness in a Relationship 

Societal influences play a significant role in shaping our beliefs about relationships. From cultural conditioning that romanticizes finding a partner to the fear of loneliness and the desire for social validation, there are several reasons why we seek completeness in a relationship: 

1. Cultural Conditioning 
Society often romanticizes the idea of finding a partner who will complete us, reinforcing the notion that a romantic partnership is the ultimate source of happiness and fulfillment. 

2. Fear of Loneliness 
Many individuals associate being single with feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, seeking a partner to escape or avoid these uncomfortable emotions and find companionship and validation. 

3. Social Validation 
Relationships are seen as a marker of success and acceptance, leading us to seek completeness in a relationship to conform to societal norms and gain approval from others. 

4. Unresolved Emotional Needs 
Seeking completeness in a relationship can stem from unmet emotional needs from our past, believing that finding a partner who can fulfill these needs will heal our wounds and provide us with the love and security we may have lacked. 

5. Romanticised Ideals 
Romantic movies, books, and fairy tales often present an idealized version of love and relationships, perpetuating the belief that finding a soulmate is necessary for personal fulfillment. 

The Potential Pitfalls of Seeking Completeness 
Relying solely on a relationship to complete us can lead to detrimental consequences and strain the relationship. Here are five pitfalls to be aware of: 

1. Overdependence 
Placing the responsibility of our happiness on a partner can create an imbalanced dynamic, where our well-being becomes dependent on their actions and presence. 

2. Unrealistic Expectations 
Seeking completeness can lead to unrealistic expectations of finding the perfect partner who fulfills all our desires and needs, resulting in constant disappointment and dissatisfaction. 

3. Loss of Individual Identity 
Focusing solely on finding completeness through a relationship can cause us to neglect our own goals, interests, and passions, losing sight of our individual identity. 

4. Codependency 
Seeking completeness can lead to codependent behaviors, where we become enmeshed with our partner and struggle to maintain healthy boundaries, compromising personal growth and autonomy. 

5. Emotional Instability 
Relying on a relationship to complete us can leave us emotionally vulnerable, especially if the relationship encounters difficulties or comes to an end, leading to feelings of loss and low self-worth. 

Becoming Complete Within Yourself ❤ 
To break free from the cycle of seeking completeness, focus on cultivating self-compassion, engaging in personal growth and development, and redefining relationship success: 

1. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance 
Reflect on your strengths, passions, and values, embracing the understanding that you are already a whole and complete individual. Shift your focus from seeking external validation to nurturing your own growth and well-being. 

2. Engage in Personal Growth and Development 
Invest in activities aligned with your interests and aspirations, expanding your horizons and deepening your understanding of yourself. Pursue hobbies, learn new skills, and set meaningful goals that contribute to your growth and self-fulfillment. 

3. Redefine Relationship Success 
View relationships as opportunities for growth, companionship, and shared experiences. Embrace the understanding that true fulfillment comes from within yourself, allowing you to approach partnerships from a place of wholeness. Commit to continuous self-discovery and improvement. 

True fulfillment and happiness come from within us. Seeking completeness in a relationship can lead to unrealistic expectations and undue pressure on both ourselves and our partners. By understanding the reasons behind this quest for completeness, we can actively work towards cultivating self-fulfillment and healthy relationship dynamics. Embrace your own completeness, nurture self-fulfillment, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth before entering a relationship. Seek counselling or therapy for guidance and support on this transformative journey.